Friday, June 6, 2008

NICE LEAVE APPLICATIONS



.................................................................................................................................................................


....................................................................................................................................................................

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."

...............................................................................................................................................................
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

..............................................................................................................................................................

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

............................................................................................................................................................

An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."

..........................................................................................................................................................


..........................................................................................................................................................
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."

..............................................................................................................................................................

Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

..............................................................................................................................................................

Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."

...........................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................................

Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

...........................................................................................................................................................

A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

WHAT A MATHEMATICS


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Lessons in Logic


If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
............ ......... ......... .........
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... .........
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
............ ......... ......... .........
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... .........
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... .........
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... .........
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... .........
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
............ ......... ......... .........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
women.
............ ......... ......... .........
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
............ ......... ......... .........
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
............ ......... ......... .........
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... .........
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... .........
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... .........
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ......... ......... .........
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... .........
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ......... .........
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... .........
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you knowSo.. why learn.