
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Guys' Rules

Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Ultimate truth Cool Ones!!! (Uncanny-but true !)
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human; to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? If you have both, no one calls.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Sunday, October 19, 2008
How can a student pass ??
It is not the fault of the student if he/she fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
Sundays-52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.
1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)- means 30days.
Days left 96.
1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days.
Days left 81.
Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.
Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40.
Days left 6.
For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.
Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.
That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!! !!!!!!!
Balance = 0
" THEN How can a student pass??”
Thursday, September 25, 2008
24 THINGS TO ALWAYS REMEMBER.......
2. You're unique and one of a kind.
3. Your life can be what you want it to be.
4. Take the days just one at a time.
5. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
6. You'll make it through whatever comes along.
7. Within you are so many answers.
8. Understand, have courage, be strong.
9. Don't put limits on yourself.
10. So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
11. Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
12. Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
13. Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
14. The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
15. Don't take things too seriously.
16. Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
17. Remember that a little love goes a long way.
18. Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
19. Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
20. Life's treasures are people . . . together.
21. Realize that it's never too late.
22. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
23. Have health and hope and happiness.
24. Take the time to wish upon a star.
SO U THINK U KNOW EVEYTHING?

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes) .
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.(Some days that's about what my memory span is)
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
There are more chickens than people in the world..
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
21 Golden Rules
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for se lf; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN '"SOMEONE U LOVE'" AND '"SOMEONE U LIKE'"

In front of a person u love,winter seems like a spring.
HEY GUYS,DO U LIKE MARKETING?

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising..."
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing..."
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations..."
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition..."
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..."
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN...........

I have a brother with whom I’ve fought a lot when I was a little kid (even now I fight with him), how about you all? How often do you guys fight with your siblings and who wins at last? On what topics do you fight Huh?
And, how about this Raksha Bandhan? Any gifts you’ve thought so far?Make sure you make your Raksha Bandhan special with loads of loving coming our way too! Let that Rakhi not just be a simple thread but let it be a thread full of affection, blessing and of course, love.
Friday, June 6, 2008
NICE LEAVE APPLICATIONS

It's murder of English language. But it’s Too Funny. Just Read It.
The Leave Applications;)
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
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"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."
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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"
............................................................................................................................................................
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
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Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
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Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
...........................................................................................................................................................
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
WHAT A MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Lessons in Logic

it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
............ ......... ......... .........
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... .........
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
............ ......... ......... .........
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... .........
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... .........
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... .........
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... .........
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
............ ......... ......... .........
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
women.
............ ......... ......... .........
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
............ ......... ......... .........
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... .........
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... .........
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... .........
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ......... ......... .........
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... .........
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ......... .........
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... .........
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you knowSo.. why learn.
Friday, May 2, 2008
LOVE vs INFATUATION

Friday, March 14, 2008
Nice one.... Try reading, keep on laughing!!
our class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
once our hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america..".. ..lol...
************ ********* ********* ********* ****"
DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
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dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. tried to switch the fan on but there was sum problem. and then she said" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
teacher in a furious mood...write down ur name and father of ur name!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****"
half of u go to the right, half of u go to the left n the remaining come behind me"......
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
My manager started like this"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****"
I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
************ ********* ********* ********* ****"
will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
our chemistry HOD comes and tells us..."My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
************ ********* ********* ********* ****"
why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
our lab assistant said this when my frnd wrote wrong code.."i understand.. u understand.computer how understand??
************ ********* ********* ********* ****
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
This is What Hindi Movies is all about......
Pyar To Hona Hi Tha
Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her.
Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.
Rangeela
Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a chinese meal. Strangely when they are in restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pulav etc.
What's happened to the wish for noodles ?
Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi
Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Jet Airways does not fly abroad.
Raja Hindustani
Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair.
What a hair raising experience !!
Raja
Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil.
Who filled the can?
Guddu
Manisha & Shahrukh are seen hanging from a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land down on the glider.
What a switch above sea level !!!
Tere Mere Sapne
Priya Gill is doing her B.A. But at the bus stop, she is carrying her electrical technology by .L.Theraja.
What an electrifying change of discipline !!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
BIRTH DATE AND UR LOVE LIFE.....
You are very curious and dedicating. When you are interested in something,everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.
Your Love
You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vice versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.
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You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem.
Your Love
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Guys dont accept it....but its true...........

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; If u
Don’t, he says u are PROUD.
Don’t, he says u are from VILLAGE.
keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u. (very true huh?)
Don’t, he says that u don't TRUST him.
SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
SMOKES , he is GENTLEMAN .
HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
Sooo hard to please!!!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
THE MOTHER










