NICE LEAVE APPLICATIONS

See, how people write leave Applications.

It's murder of English language. But it’s Too Funny. Just Read It.

The Leave Applications;)

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."

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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."

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From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

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An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."

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A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

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Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."

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Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."

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Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."

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Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

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Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

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A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

WHAT A MATHEMATICS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect..... .
so why practice?
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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two
women.
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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
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"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
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"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
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"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you knowSo.. why learn.